Terima Kasih

Didn't manage to write ever since i started working in Kota
Its not that I don't have the time
given the fact that I managed to spend quite alot on facebook =p
just that everyday I would be so tired
that I wouldn't even wanna use my brain after work...
(Imagine driving also kills half of my brain cells..)

Writing my blog is not so easy
I am lazy to post up sth which I think
that is too ordinary to write about
Yet for something too complicated
I am lazy (again!) to think how to construct the sentence
so that people would understand what I am thinking

ALmost all my friends know that
I have this bad habit of thinking too much
especially towards the pessimistic direction
No matter how many times they told me
they advised me
or even scolded me
I can't change much...
so conclusion, i m a hopeless case
if ever YOU wanna make me more positive...

I realised that I smile WAY TOO MUCH to the people
when most of the time I don't really feel like to
I guess that's how my energy was overly consumed
to the extent where the rest of my day
I tend to be so mood off & of course
when my parents see my shit face
ANY PROBLEM, big or small,
would become a BIG issue...

My baobei chinchin used to tell me that
I am so used to listening to others when they are having their probs
but for my own, I keep too much to myself
there was one time she was even worrying that
I might eventually break down & by then
nobody could save me anymore...
I guess my case was not so serious yet
I DO find people to talk to when necessary
just that the availability of the people... depends

I dont know whether you should be happy or sad
that U are not one of those that i would be looking for
when I m feeling down
I still treat you as friend,
but maybe I m just too tired to update my story to EVERYONE
when there is actually people that I can directly
tell them the core of the problem
without digging up the whole history of the current status...

Ok now
why the heck am I telling the whole thing above...

I was feeling REAL down last night
after the mid autumn festival celebration at the temple
& also the f**king period pain drove me nuts
(maybe the disturbed hormones is the culprit)
I thought of 3 person that I might be able to talk to them

After considering for like... 5 minutes?
ha, its a fast decision, I know
I decided to message him
" slept already? got work tomorrow? can talk? "
I was only hoping to receive a sms reply
or even no reply if he is already asleep
cos it was quite late already

Surprising enough, he called me back~
Its such a comfort to hear his voice
until I actually secretly shed a tear while talking to him...
We practically talk crap (about work actually) for like 20 minutes
then only I told him the whole crappy story
& without doubt, i cried like hell
& of course, he knew it, ha

Its really nice when we both kept quiet
yet I knew he was actually waiting for me to cool down
he kept saying that he wasn't of any help
but Lord knows,
by being there for me, even it's just through the phone
I am already very grateful...
he just made me think of another person
which I don't even dare to call
cos I am not sure whether he is having a bigger prob than mine
though this "another person" will be way suitable to talk to
anyway..........

To my Mr Ihsan Norkhair
really thanks a lot
for actually called me up & talked to me for >45 minutes
hopefully ur darling sis didn't make a fuss about our conversation last night
cos we didn't talk until 3am LOL
couldn't express my gratitude better
so I decided to forgive you
for saying that I looked garang in my new hairstyle, hurmp >.<
but anyway we will be meeting up soon aren't we?
you will be given a chance to SEE carefully before u make ur comment AGAIN
hahahahaha~~
again, thanks so much Dear~ Love you~

p/s: you always know that I ALWAYS mean whatever I say =)